Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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