i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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