hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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