She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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