ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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