Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
