Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
