sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
