i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
