I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
