I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
