Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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