I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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