Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My pussy is not your playground.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
