This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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