my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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