If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
