considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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