so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I believe in your delicious
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
