I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
