I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
