it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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