your room smells of hookers.
And success
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
