i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
