there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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