I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
