You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize