bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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