i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want her autograph on my taint
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And then he peed in my hair
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