What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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