I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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