his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
