it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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