Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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