bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
