Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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