I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
