my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
