just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
