i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
