whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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