I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Pooping to opera.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
