just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
