I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
