Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
