I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
