In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
