Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
