i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
