bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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