its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
