i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
