I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You are a genius and a whore.
ok first of all what the fuck
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