the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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