I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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