Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
