So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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