I want to make a zoo with you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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