Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This house was built for laser tag.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
