and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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