here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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