this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
