Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
