I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
