I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
