Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
