Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
